The only thing NORMAL is a cycle on the washing machine

Happy Mothers Day

2011-05-06T11:28:00.001-07:00

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to Earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

The child asked, "And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will pleace your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

"Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad...because I will not see you anymore."

"Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment, there was much peace in Heaven but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, "You will simply call her 'Mom'."

2011-05-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

How wasteful the Older Generation Was ...

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. The former generation did not care enough to save our environment."

He was right, that generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, they returned their milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and
over. So they really were recycled.

But they didn't have the green thing back in that customer's day.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.

But she was right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.

Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts - wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters,
not always brand-new clothing.

But that old lady is right, they didn't have the green thing back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a hankerchief, not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for you.

When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut
the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right, they didn't have the green thing back then.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled their writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced
the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But they didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful the old folks were just because they didn't have the green thing back then?

2010-06-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

When it rains it pours...Brandon has moved back home and it is an adjustment for him and definitely for us! I am praying that what he learned at Teen Challenge he will apply to life as he enters back into society.
Everytime we make a plan and think we know where things are going we get thrown a curve ball and we are going in another direction.
Addison was so funny this morning she said she wanted out of the shower and when i opened the door she started spraying me with the detachable shower head! She hugged me severalt imes this morning and was so brave when I left for work. I miss being home with her!
This is a season that I will miss in some regards but I cannot wait to get past in others. Pray the Lord gives me patience because I am anxious to get to the next chapter.
Thank God for good friends! I feel like we are detached from most people b/c of work, school, kids, etc. I had a good friend come over and hang out with us this week and it was refreshing to not be home alone all the time!

2010-06-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

funny things my little girl said this week...

As she rubbed all of our faces....."Mommy shaved, I shaved, but Daddy is not shaved."

" 'Yes mamm' is not in my mouth."

"I'm bigger because I am you..... I am Chairdy."

When I was trying to get her to put her white sunday shoes on "they all just hurt me SO bad" she cried but the purple flip flops she exclaimed "they are just SO beautiful". If you could only hear the dramatic effects with these words.

"Do you like Sher Khan?? I love Sher Khan...maybe I can ride him..." (the tiger from the jungle book) No fear of anything.

"Dont worry about Ursula.... she will be fine." " you dont have to worry about me either because I am fine too"

2010-06-10T14:17:00.001-07:00

2010-05-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

I have so much to tell that I dont know where to start!

First I want to let everyone know that I am selling some amazing skin products that really do reverse sun damage and improve your skin by developing new collagen! Please check out my website at charityeskew.myrandf.com and email me at mrs_eskew@yahoo.com if you have any questions about any of the products!!! They are prescription strength and they were created by the same Dermatologist that invented ProActive!

Lets start current and go backwards.... This weekend Mark and I had a great date night Saturday which included margs and a funny movie! He got to get some golf in and I took the kids to a carnival where Addie road a pony and talked me into bouncing down a slide that was way to narrow and steep for me to try again :)

Last weekend we spend it in Little Rock for my cousins graduation. I picked up Brandon from Teen Challenge and his mom flew into to Little Rock to spend some time with him at our family gathering. It was pleasant and she took Brandon back to OK Monday for us! Addison is so smitten with Brandon... its cute!

Keaton is not speaking yet but I think I will laugh all day if he speaks like she does! We are trying to break him from the bottole but he is in LOVE with that thing full or empty he wants it in his mouth.....

Addison is always a mommy to a doll, stuffed animal, or something.... therefore she is either scolding, consoling, or loving on them. It is so funny to see her rock them when they cry and scratch their back to get them to go to sleep etc....

She had an accident in her panties while Rachel (my sister) was watching her a few weeks ago which Rachel was not happy about cleaning up. Addison tried to lighten the air and said "its funny isnt it?!? ". Rachel didnt hesitate to so "NO" and so Addie replied "is it funny a little bit?"...again Rachel replied "NO". Addison said "can I laugh?" and Rachel still said "No"... finally Addison grinning said" Ill just smile!"...Rachel broke and started laughing.....

She told me yesterday when the sun was in her eyes "that sun is mean starring at me".

Going back a little further to Mothers day.... the night before I took Addie to the mall and when I got home KP (my BFF) needed me to take her to ER b/c her heart would not stop racing and pain was runningdown her neck and chest. We got out of there around 3 am and so Mark taught our 3 yr old SS the next a.m. without me b/c we had all of our family coming over for Mothers Day that afternoon! It work out and we had a great time! Brandon called me to wish me a Happy Mother's Day.

I am now waiting to hear back from Baptist about my enrollment in their night/weekend Nursing program.

I have an appt with U of M Wednesday about their Nursing program also!

My life is so blessed with a grea family, flexible job, and some new opportunities!

2010-04-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

Addie decided yesterday that she didnt want to go to music class as we were walking in and it was amazing how quickly she unravelled! When I raised my voice at her I had to come back and apologize and she instructed me that "if you say your sorry that means you wont do it again" and I agreed that I would try not to do it again....she replied "well you did it yesterday too".... it made me want to yell again...

When baby fevers hits I squash it with two toddlers! :)

Keaton is struggling letting go of the bottle....any suggestions?

Mark is having thyroid surgery Tuesday morning... please pray that everything comes back normal!

2010-03-09T13:37:00.000-08:00

Addison has her surgery consult this thursday and we are a bit anxious to find out when her surgery will be... Spring break is great this week... my brain is fried.... Oh how am I going to survive Nursing school fulltime?!?!?

Esther took the kids to the park yesterday and we went to the park Saturday... We tried the Zoo but when we got there the line was out to E Parkway so we left before we ever got in!

We are planning Keaton's first birthday next week and his party this Saturday! I cannot believe it has been a year! He loves pushing Addie around on the firetruck b/c he cannot quite walk by himself or stablize sitting on the firetruck while it is moving! They just cackle together and then someone always starts to cry! The joys of siblings....

I love that Addison will come up to me and say "Mommy I love you SO MUCH!" without just repeating it after me. It melts my heart.

When Keaton stands by hisself she pushes him to the ground and says "Mommy he wanted to crawl".
He took 2-3 steps alone last night! HURRAY!
He is such a tank and will eat anything and everything that you put in front of him.

Addison is going backwards and then forwards and then back again with potty training! UGH!

We need prayer for Brandon and our trip to see him the end of March b/c there is definitely some spiritual warefare going on and we need JESUS to bind the devil and all his influences away from this child. He will be 17 this month and we want to have a positive birthday celebration!

I am holding on the Palms 36:5 "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies"!

2010-03-01T09:27:00.000-08:00

This weekend was full of studying, playing outside (PTL) and shopping!

Friday we went bowling as a family minus Keaton plus Fire Station 27 and it was so fun!
I saw a girl and her father that had come through my clinic months back and they remembered me from a conversation we had about the passing of her mother and when they rode a pink FireTruck!
... Sweet family... and an old coworker was with them dating her sister.... It is a small world!

Addie spent Saturday with Nay Nay and Pop (shopping at the Mall and going to the Park)....
Keaton and I enjoyed a day to play together and I got to study for my Midterm a little while he napped!

Addison's new thing is saying NO SIR regardless of what you say,..... UGH!
Keaton is almost walking... LIKE INCHES FROM DOING IT HIMSELF!

Brandon will be 17 in three weeks and Keaton will be 1 in 2 weeks! I cannot believe it has been a year since we brought our little man home.... He loves to drop things and say "Oh" .... He squeals at such a high range and he can drink a bottle, crawl, and play with toys simutaneously!
He calls our puppy "Ro Ro Ro" her name is Rosie!

Addie was a ballerina all night last night until she became Dr. SQ and had to give me medicine b/c I was sick.... She pulled up my shirt to use her stethoscope on my stomach and she pointed to my ribs and said "mommy those are your boobies".... These kids always make me laugh!!!

2010-02-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we found out that Addison has a hernia and will have to have it surgically repaired.... She has had a rough time since the stomach virus because her stools will not get back to normal ... So we are on a strick diet and going to hope and pray that she will get regular before we have our surgery consult next friday!
She is on a lactose and sugar free diet and after 10-14 days it shoudl be fully corrected..... say a prayer!
Mark and I are tag teaming work and being home with them which is a two man job when they are sickly!

I made an A on my Reproductive test last night and am not ready for my blood test tomorrow! Nursing school I am almost ready for you!

Keaton has been head butting us the past few days and he just laughes after his forehead makes contact with you... I love it! He had his first scrambled egg today and he gobbled it up! I am loving seeing them interact and become friends! Addison prays for Keaton and Pink Baby everyday (her two favorite things).....

Well I am going to Kohls with Esther and then to the house to relieve Mark!

Joy even in sickness!!

2010-02-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

Keaton has slept most of the day and Addie and I have had a good time with playdough, matching games, coloring with colored pencils and chalk, flashcards, and reading books! Her poor bottom is so sore that she can barely sit down... She is currently putting makeup on me.... if only someone was here to capture this in a picture! :) This morning was depressing with all the diarreha, accident with tee tee in the floor and keaton throwing up but it is getting better as addie says "the sunshine is back" as she wears her shades around our house this afternoon :) ....
She asked me "what is your name?"
I said "what do you think my name is?"
she said "Charity Eskew Mommy"
I asked "what is Daddy's name?"
she said "Charity Eskew Daddy"
I asked"what is your name?"
She replied"Addison Eskew McKenzie".

I love it when she talks b/c we never know what we will hear! :)
She repeats everything and is always asking what we are doing, what we said, and why this or that.... So much personality at such a young age.... she keeps telling me today "I not sick....I feel better".... and "you not sick Mommy" .... "Pink baby feels better because she goes to doctor".. We accidentally left our sleep aid "pink baby" at Dr. Yukons the other day and Daddy went back to get it for us.
Do all kids hate having the sleeve on a book?? She cannot stand to have the cover of a book on it.... She says"book does not want to wear it"....

The joy of a toddler!!!

When it rains it pours

2010-02-18T06:41:00.000-08:00

Where do I start... last week I was able to get some precious clothes at the Agricenter Consignment sale and I sold alot of my baby clothes so I was able to break even. what a blessing .... I had a falling out with a friend but with some time and reflecting we were able to rectify our differences and make up.

Friday it all began with the dreadful stomach flu!!! Addison started with diarreha and we had to go back to diapers and by saturday I went to the pharmacist because she was not getting any better. They advised me to give her children's imodium. By Saturay evening she was lathargic and resting in mommy's bed but her bottom was hurting her to the point she would not sit down or even bend over.
Sunday she woke up with a dry diaper PTL and we got ready for church in her new Valentine's dress I had just bought for her. daddy made us eggs and pancakes MMmmmm!!!!!! When I had gotten her up it was really hot in her room and she spit up a little on me but I did not think much about it....
On the way to church She vomitted everything she had eaten that morning all over her new dress, car seat, and the floor. We were 2 minutes from church and Mark and I had to teach Sunday school that morning. I dropped Mark and Keaton off while I undressed Addie. She was singing and acting fine so I still thought it was strange. We went into Kohls and bought a new dress (that is two valentines day dresses) and she was acting fine again. I went back to church and she was fine the rest of the morning. We went to lunch with my family and she was fine (ate a little) and wanted to play with her valentine gifts she had gotten....

We came home and took naps and when she woke up she had puked all in her bed and she puked several times through out the rst of the evening ..... the lymphnodes on the back of her neck were HUGE so we made a Drs appt the next morning..... Mark brought her and I met him there from work and Esther kept Keaton. The Dr. said that her stomach was in an uproar but it was viral and it would have to run its course and she just needed to stay hydrated and no solid food until she went a while without throwing up. I went to a sale at Lifeway after work and Esther met me up there.... She went and got Pizza Hut and came over for the evening.... We watched the Bachelor and the kids seem to be doing better etc. I woke up in the middle of the night throwing up all the pizza I had endulged on a few hours earlier.... Until about 2pm the next day I stayed close to a trash can or toilet. The body aches were unbearable... Esther came back over and stayed the night b/c Mark started having body aches and feeling terrible. Addie slept almost all day tuesday..... so did I .... Wednesday I just slept alot and Addie was bouncing off the walls feeling better! Mark was comign around after alot of rest and last night Keaton started throwing up!!! Will this virus ever leave us?!?!? Addie and Keaton are back to having diarreha and I pray this leaves us soon b/c the about of body fluids that have been expelled in this house is overwhelming and I cannot seem to get the sick smell out of our house!! I go back to work tomorrow and Mark went today and I pray we dont have another round of this virus b/c it has had us down for a week!!!!

2010-02-09T21:42:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and the road were not icy! Got to work safely and talked about the joyous time playing in the snow on Monday with the family since the clinic as closed. As the day progressed I seem to let my patience chip away .... I got home and was greatful for the meal my mother had made for us but the fun began with the dog stealing keaton's socks(his hands/feet were like ice - causing him to cry ALOT), then keaton tossing the dogs water bowl across the room full of water, to Addison pushing Keaton into the ground several times making him SCREAM, the dog pooped in my room, the dog kept biting Keaton, went to pick the dog up and she ran and hid under a piece of furniture that required me to get down and drag her out(I was SO MAD @ her), Laundry and dishes piled up for me to tackle, Addie tee teed on the floor(after sitting on the potty for what seemed like an hour), I offended a friend when I thought I was helping, I listened to someone I care about hurt over the words and coldness of their home, and the list goes on.........................
I was ready to cry b/c I a really tired but when I went to put the kids to bed and the two of them curled up in my lap and a peace came over me. It was the best feeling in the world when my son nestled in one arm gives a big yawn and Addie says " Mommy, I love you too" before I even got to say I love you first. We just rocked and listened to "Sleep sound in Jesus". I looked up after Keaton was asleep and Addison was on her phone telling one of my friends... "Oh yeah... Ill have to call you back (PAUSE) Yeah...Ill call you back real soon... OK? Bye"..........It was too cute and blessed my soul bc I knew she was quoting me....if she could only mimic the harmless and caring things I say and do.....
I have made many blunders today but I am so grateful for tomorrow ... Oh a fresh start tomorrow. PTL!
I love my kids and the only thing missing tonight was Mark.... our HERO fireman was hard at work saving lives and providing for us to be home!
I am applying at several different nursing schools and could use all the prayers I can get about which program is best for our family. I am going to retire now and wish everyone a good night!

January recap!

2010-02-03T10:21:00.000-08:00

We have had a busy first month of the year!
Brandon had his wisdom teeth out the first week of January and got a dry socket... No fun!! it did nto stop him from playing MW2 on Xbox... Addison LOVED having him home... We took him back to school Jan 9 and stayed the weekend in Fayetteville AR... it was quiet and cold and I loved a day without any obligations! Then Sunday on our way home Mark got a speeding ticket for 18 over trying to hurry and get to lunch with my mom's parents in conway....
Started Aand P II the next week ...beginning with the Endocrine System and all its tiny details!
Addison started PDO at a local church one day a week and she loves it!
Keaton is finally sleeping through the night... He is almost a year old and I cannot believe that i pray when i go to bed that he wont wake up!
Addison went to a birthday party at "yucky cheese" and we told her to say "ch" "Ch" and she said "ch" "ch" "yucky cheese"... we also went to princess birthday party at "House of talent" and got to dance and do art and had a blast...
We went to a play date at the mall and had a good time with Daddy, the Wallaces, Winters, and venters!
Daddy has been going to Kindermusik with us each Thursday.
We are listing our home hoping it will sell soon! We will build on our land if it does not sell first b/c we have a for sale sign in it too!
Addison is almost potty trained... we have had a rough week last week but this week we are almost completely accident free!
Keaton is standing and walking well with a push toy so days from walking on his own.
Brandon is doing well at Brushcreek and has had a great attitude each time we have talked to him since he got back. three weeks ago he got re-baptized and we are very hopefully for God's handy work in his heart.
We had an ice entrapment in our home last thurs through sunday. it was fun and Addie loved playing out in the snow and sledding down the hill of ice!
Addison told me today that she is Dr. Eskew and she will make me feel better. She will not share her candy for going potty and today she needed nay nay & pop (my parents), esther, and rachel to come look at it! it was so funny b/c she called each of them and said LOOK I went potty all day long!
Rosie (our chihuahua puppy) loves the kids and is half way house broken...the cold makes her back track on her commitment to go outside....Keaton does not love all the kisses he gets b/c he is so low to the ground Rosie can get in his face... it is funny... Rosie will grab his socks and pull and pull until she gets them off his feet and runs to her kennel to hide them....
Excited for February to get started and I will update pics soon!!

2010-01-21T21:39:00.000-08:00

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6:19-21

I have to remember what is really important rather than get distracted by all the trival things in my life. Worry is so desctructive to my focus and I am praying for complete trust in the Lords provisions!

2010-01-19T10:28:00.001-08:00

2010-01-19T10:11:00.001-08:00

2010-01-19T09:58:00.001-08:00

2010-01-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

2010-01-19T09:31:00.001-08:00

2010-01-19T09:30:00.000-08:00

2010-01-19T08:50:00.001-08:00

These are some pics from the end of 2009 ...Christmas pics will be coming soon!

2010-01-19T08:45:00.001-08:00

2010-01-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

Well the New Year has brought laughter, sadness, joy, and business for the Eskew family! We had a great time having all of our children home for the holidays and were sad to have to take Brandon back to school in OK. He is doing well and we cannot wait until he is able to come home in May for a summer break.

Addison is in love with Brandon and when we took him home last weekend; we bought her a teacup chihuahua puppy to redirect her attention. Her name is Rosita Poco Eskew but Addie says Coco(we are still working on Ps and Ls) so the puppy is probably confused. Keaton does not have so much love for the puppy b/c she is always licking him and jumping on him b/c he is so low to the ground.... Maybe it will encourage him to get up and walk rather than crawl.... :)

Mark was put on stand by with the disaster in Haiti..... PTL he was not required to go (at least not yet). Our hearts go out for the orphans who were in the adoption process and are having to begin all over again.

I have started back school .... very time consuming.... but one more semester and I will be in nursing school!

Our schedule goes something like this....
Monday and Tuesdays I work ....
Wednesday we have Mom2Mom in the morning and small group in the evening....
Thursday morning we have Kindermusik and I work in the afternoon.
Fridays Addison goes to Parents Day Out and Keaton and I run errands.
Saturday is chore day and Sunday is church and rest!

I love my family! I am so excited to see what 2010 has instore for us!
1. We hope to sell our house and maybe our land - either build a house or buy a house!
2. Get enrolled in Nursing school
3. Addie enrolled in a preschool for this fall or next spring....
4. Move Brandon home upon completing his program
5. Learn to play golf and finish my 2008 scrapbook :)

2009-10-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

Addisons birthday was thursday and we went to Chucky Cheese but she calls it "Yucky Cheese". Nay-Nay, Pop, Aunt Esther, and Mommy went with her.... We are having a painting party with her friends at our house tomorrow afternoon after church. She has been singing to Keaton and I all day today. It is so funny to hear her talk more and more each day. She now tells me what she is and is not doing and always talks in 3rd person. Rachel is over and she loves having her aunts around. Esther bought her a Tinkerbell tent that takes up my entire kitchen but Addie LOVES it! We are enjoying her so much at this stage in her life! PTL for a healthy adorable loving child!
last night Dad and I went to dinner at Firebirds for my 25th birthday. Where have the last 5 years gone??? i feel like i just graduated from Union but time has flown by since then and so much has happened.... We went shopping and came home to snuggle under the covers and watched a movie b/c it was too cold to stay out! :)
I love my family and I am so blessed to have such a loving and caring husband, family who helps with my kids, and kids that light up my world with a simple smile!
Pics are coming of Yucky Cheese and of the paint party after tomorrow!

2009-10-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

I am currently stretch as thin as I have been in a long time and in need of a vacation! Keaton is almost 7 months old and still gets up at least once most of the time twice a night which is keeping me from any rest of more than 4 hours. Addison is talking so much and spoiled me by sleeping through the night at such an early age! Esther comes over alot and helps out PTL! Mom watched them this afternoon for me to run to the grocery since it was cold and yucky outside. My plate is full with school, work, teaching sunday school, mom bible study, marriage small group, motherhood, studying, cleaning, cooking, and being a wife.... Whew! I love it all I just need to find a way to balance without crashing and burning....
I start a new job (same field just different doctor's office) in a week and I hope and pray that helps with some of the stress that I am under at my current office....
I am so blessed to have healthy kids! I keep hearing about illness and death from friends and families that we are close to... It is giving me a new appreciation for my life and the lives of those I love.
I have some great friends who are helping me study into the wee hours of the morning and a husband who has been walking this thin rope with me every step of the way!
I had a scare last week with a positive pregnancy test but my doc confirmed that I am not prego... I took another test yesterday to confirm again and it was negative THANK GOD! I would die with three kids under the age of 3!
I love them but i need a break before the next one arrives!
I am praying for healing in my family right now.... The Lord created each and everyone of us and I pray that we remember that we are His and so are they! Fearfully and Wonderfully made! Thank you Lord for not giving up on us and for graciously putting us back in place when we start to try to take control of situations that we should leave at the foot of the cross...
We are reading LOVE and RESPECT at church and doing a study that is amazing! No matter what my husband does I have NO RIGHTS to disrespect him and no matter what I do he has NO RIGHTS to not show me agopy love! We are on the same team and have to remember that when we think the other one is attacking us! GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!
pics to come soon! my camera will not upload ... i will have to see what is up with that...

2009-02-16T07:43:00.000-08:00

It is interesting how people talk about things they do not know anything about....but feel that they are experts on the topic at hand....
I am learning that the more I listen and the less I say the smarter I am.
I am enjoying our marriage study at Central Church... Pastor Ernie has sent us home with questions to ask and answer and it has provided Mark and I with some great conversation pieces....
I am so grateful for all of his hard work to provide me the opportunity to be home with our children! Keaton will be here in 4 weeks and I am getting excited about the additional changes to our family!
Addison is getting so big and looking more like a little girl everyday rather than like a baby!
In 2Tim we (M2M) are studying how to pass the baton of faith to our children and I pray that what I am learning will be seen in my kids!
For Valentines Addison and I each got our own bouquet of flowers and we love them!!!
I had a great dinner for Valentine's with the love of my life and dessert night with some dear girl friends!
Have a great week and know that the Lord loves you and will not ever give you more than you can handle.....

2009-01-24T10:25:00.001-08:00

Addison's vocabulary is growing.... it used to be mama, da da, dog, NO, and alot of Chinese giberish.... now she says more, teeth, cheese, goodness, excuse me, honey, earm eyes, several animal sounds (duck-quack, pig-oink, horse-nay, rooster-doo, sheep=baa, etc...), and she is copying more sounds everyday... before you know it we will be having conversations back and forth that I can understand....
Mark is in TX visiting his family and Addison and I just returned from a 3 yr old b-day party... it was madness but a blast! Keaton will be joining us in less than 2 months and we are so over joyed!
I cannot believe that I am about to be a mother of two and i feel like I am barely an adult.... I am praying for our house to sell so we can get our home situation settled for the indefinite. All in God's timing....
I thank God for great friends and family. We had a good Christmas and a great visit with extended family even this week .... Addison is napping so I better go get my house work done before she rises and wants to play, play, play... She is going to stay with Aunt Esther and Pop tonight while I host Bunko so she will have a blast!

2008-10-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

My husband read to me last night from Max Lacado's book Greatest Moments in the life of Christ. Prior to that we enjoyed dinner at Mom and Dad's... it is nice to have family close by....
Tonight Whitney came to visit with her dog Bella.... Addie cackled at Mia playing with Bella.... Addie was really happy and delightful today.... we played outside and went shopping.... it was really cold yesterday but tomorrow it is going to be 72 degrees!
I am so grateful for old friends who always care.....
Whitney commented on how low I am carrying this baby.... It is strange how different my two pregnancies are.... With the first I carried high, was sick, gained a TON of weight, had major hot flashes, etc. With this one I am carrying low, have not been sick once, have not gained any weight, but rather just shifted weight around, and have had a stable body temperature.
I am nesting early... I started cleaning out the attic today and not the attic looks great but upstairs is aweful b/c of everything i pulled out of the attic! I hope to make a dent in the upstairs tomorrow b/c tonight I am relaxing under my electric blanket watching TV.... it is quiet and peaceful..... Addie reached for her bed and went straight to sleep.... I am afraid she has spoiled us with sleeping so well and consistantly..... Our next child will probably be as inconsistant as the weather. Lord give me genuine rest anytime I do get to sleep once this next baby is here.
As I cleaned out the attic i found two rocking chairs.... Mark told me tonight that they were his and his late brothers.... I am so excited that my children will get to have them. At Mom's Addie loves to rock in Mom's old rocking chair that she used as a child (as well as I used).....
I need to get the video camera out more often b/c she is changing so much everyday and I want to capture these moments that have touched my soul!
I am off to a land of dreams ..... Have a blessed evening!

2008-10-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for the prayers, phone calls, emails, and family and friends who have ministered to us. Yesterday we enjoyed a relaxing afternoon hanging outside with our neighbors, and we have enjoyed this evening (after I got home from work)... we are currently watching the Titans and Colts play with my electric blanket turned on b/c I am COLD....
Mark had an interesting situation today.... He went to take the hospital bed down for his mother and he told her that he moved Brandon to TX permanently. Expecting drama he was shocked when she said she understood that it was alot on he and I and that she hoped we would be able to have stability now. She commented that she knew something was going to happen b/c of all of the problems. As Mark left, she stopped him and asked him to pray with her. Never in 40 years has his mother prayed with him. He was amazed! Miracle never do cease.....
we have not believed all of her claims to have rededicated her life, etc but it difficult times where she has chosen to remain calm and composed it has definitely told us that something is changing within her.
I need the Lord to give me forgiveness towards her and towards Brandon. Brandon started school today in TX. Lord please bring someone into his life in this new place and touch his heart through your missionaries in that region/school/neighborhood....
I think the Lord is teaching me what perserverence is.... I feel stronger even though I feel weak with everything that has happened. I have laughed today and it felt great to smile!
On another note... our confirmation ultrasound is Thursday but we KNOW it is a BOY!
Boy names in the running...
Cameron, Keaton, Brody, Jackson, Sutton, Grayson, Peyton, Houston, .... if you cannot tell i really like "on" endings b/c we already have Brandon and Addison.... any suggestions??!?!?

2008-10-24T09:02:00.001-07:00

ITS A BOY!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

I do not know where i stopped blogging but i am going to start with July-August of 2008... Brandon moved home from a 6-8 week sabatical with my in-laws in TX, and things were okay. We went on family vacation and it was actually fun...in my opinion. August we got him enrolled in school and then it all began.....
His grades were AWEFUL from the 2nd week of school. We decided that we would let him fail if that is what it took to teach him that school is not a joke. We withdrew him from the school play b/c he refused to do any homework. A few weeks of minor teenage issues go by and I thought I could handle living with this family dynamic. labor day arrives and he lets loose on me verbally and emotionally(in an abusive manner)...threatening to steal my car, pushing his way into my room, yelling/cursing, got suspended from school for similar unruly behavior at school, etc. My mother-in-law made things worse by threatening me and encouraging Brandon to counter me in every way imaginable. She has said and done more horrific things intintionally that I knew a person could. My parents had to step in and take Brandon b/c I was not safe. Mark returned from the hurricane relief deployment (the longest three weeks of my life) and things calm down for a few days... after Mark had been home for 4 days Brandon is standing in our door yelling at us like we are trash that he walks on. My marriage is strained to say the least.... a week later his grades are worse and he expects his freedom back. Mark addresses the consequences for the grades and Brandon starts throwing things in the garage and hitting our car with objects from the garage. Beating on counters and cursing in front of our daughter. I am at my whits end at this point and beg God to strike him or me or both, but we could not keep living like this. Last week Mark tried to get Brandon to study and he threw the homework at Mark and cursed/yelled at him in from our living room to his room. Last night Brandon and his mother were having a conversation about girls boobs and after he got off the phone i told him it was not appropriate and I wanted the phone. He said NO and it escalated from there... i went to my room waiting for Mark to get home and Brandon would not leave me door and kept beating on the walls and yelling.... Mark sent him to his room and Brandon beat on the walls and door for an hour... he was cussing and yelling while my daughter is playing in the living room. it is uncontrolable and he does not even respond to Mark anymore. He lies constantly and I am so weary that if something did not happen soon I would not have the strength to stay. As Mark watched Addison cry and cling to me listening to the chaos of objects being thrown in Brandon's room he decided to send him away for good. We have a baby and an unborn child that need a safe home and this behavior is not tolerable anymore! I cannot get him to stay out of my closet and going through my personal things..... everytime i go in his room or bathroom I find something not acceptable in this home...from tobacco on many occassions to condoms to pics that are not appropriate to stories that are grafic(written by him) and vile to music that is so sinful, etc.... Tomorrow morning Brandon will be living in TX with Mark's father for the remainder of his highschool career. My marriage is so weak....My daughter is so confused....I am so angry that this has happened....and Mark is hurting.....
Please keep Addison's security, Brandon's heart that needs to find the Lord, Mark's leadership and stability, and my bitterness in your prayers b/c we are all struggling and need Divine Intervention!
I have gotten angry, cried, pretended like I was fine, and wanted to run away through this past two years of marriage but God has shown me how much I need Him. I am weak and I knwo that I can only be a mom and a wife in His strength right now.... The Lord has blessed me with a moms group that is studying how to be a mother lead by Proverbs and it is convicting about my role in this family and how important it is to speak pleasant words in my home. I am trying to learn to be "soft".....
God can use all of this misfortune to help someone and I pray that I do not stand in the way....

2008-09-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

Families are so complicated. Some people you cannot get enough of and then others you never want to see again. I am going through a study on being a wise woman/wife/mom and it is convicting about what type of example I am setting for my family - saved and lost. I have been struggling with my circumstances but yesterday I was convicted about being so selfish always upset about what is happening to me. I have a great home, a family that is there for me, a flexible job, a husband who provides and is actively involved in our lives, and so much more!

I recommend everyone seeing the movie Fireproof ... it touched my heart last night when mark and I went to see it!

I am almost 4 months along now and it is starting to show in my mid section! I am almost positive it is a boy...we will know for sure next month....... I want to be a godly mom and I pray that God will guide me each day with my children. I am tired ALOT!

I hope everyone is enjoying this weather of breezes and comfort as we are!

I am so excited to watch my husband love our baby girl and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for our family! I am looking forward to her first birthday party in a few weeks! I hope to see you all again soon and thank you for your prayers and support!

2008-09-16T04:45:00.000-07:00

Things have gotten worse before they have gotten better. I was not sure I could take much more when my husband informed me that the task force was going to have to stay at least another week. We are already in the third week of them being gone. I wanted to scream, cry, yell ...anything but I did not..... He continued to tell me that he had told him supervisors that he could not stay and would need immediate transportation home. I was overjoyed even though we did not know when or how he would get home. Yesterday we talked and it was looking like Tuesday or Wednesday at the earliest until at 6 last night he called me to let me know he was headed to the Houston airport and I could pick him up around 10p.m. My heart leaped b/c he was finally home!!!
We need him home to take care of the unruly mess that has been created and it just gives me comfort to know that he is back. He woke Addie, played with her a while, and got to see her walk for the first time! I loved watching his face and he delighted in our baby girl.
He is going to rest today b/c he has had one heck of a couple weeks..... Praise the Lord for compassionate leaders who let him leave without jeopardizing his job. I was sad to have to get up and come into work today but I feel so relieved to know that he is going to be at the house when I get off.
Mom is still keeping Brandon b/c he is STILL SUSPENDED. He has gone over and above to try to break me and my spirit this past two weeks. Pray for wisdom b/c something radical is going to have to happen and we want to make sure that all of our decisions are guided by the Lord.
I go to the doctor this week to hear my little baby's heartbeat! I am so grateful that I have not been sick b/c that would have probably been more than I could bare with all the stresses that I have been subject to.
If it is a boy I am leaning on the name "Cameron". Mark is not sold on it but I am going to say it alot so maybe he will get used to it :) ..... Any suggestions on baby names I would love to hear them! Addie is home with Daddy today and I cannot wait to join them in a few short hours!
Have a blessed week and dont ever take your spouse or family for granite!

2008-09-10T19:20:00.001-07:00

God has brought people into my path - some who have been there for as long as i can remember and some who i would not have expected - who have helped me through trials this week and last. I am not sure where to go from here but I know that I will sleep better at night when my husband returns home. I am doing a study through proverbs with other women to learn how to be a wise mother and wife. I fail my family daily and I am praying for guidance to learn to serve them rather than thinking of myself. If the Lord is trying to humble me He is succeeding!
I am so grateful for resources that are helping me! Thank everyone for your prayers and concerns.
Addie took close to 10 steps several times over the past couple days. I am getting excited that she is starting to walk! the slower I get being prego the faster she will get! :)

I am reading Atonement Child and it is so thought provoking everytime i want to have self pity.
I am struggling with anger towards someone in my life right now and I want to walk away and never think about that relationship again but i know that is probably not what i am supposed to do. Boundaries are not supported and i dont know how to stay in control of my home.
I desperately dont want Satan to have a strong hold over anyone or anything in my house!
I pray for the ability and wisdom to safe guard my home with my husband...
I pray that the Lord will equip mark with all the necessary tools to lead our family!

On a lighter note i am watching Along Cam Polly and for those of you who have seen it the hairy sweaty guy in the basketball match just about made me barf! I love this movie!

2008-09-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

I am not very consistent at blogging but I wanted to let anyone and everyone know that I am pregnant again..... Addie will be 18 months old, Brandon will be 16, and we will have a new born! Mark will be OVER THE HILL in Dec. I am going to be busy selling my house and getting ready for our new addition. My husband is in New Orleans helping flood victims.... I would give anything to have him home again! Brandon and I went to counseling today and it was successful! I am praying that God grip our family and help us blend smoothly!
Pray for my mother in law b/c she is no longer welcome at our home b/c of the outrageous acts she has committed in the last week and really the past few years.... I need to not be bitter but it is hard when you are dealing with someone so vile and wicked towards you.
Mark is struggling with the division in our family and I pray God give him strength lead our family in the way of the truth with or without or family's support....
I am reading Atonement Child and her questions of why such unfortunate circumstances happened to her are some of the questions I have been asking today.... I have be humiliated, angry, depressed, and lonely the past couple days and I have had to bury myself in I peter about going through trials and staying in my role! That is a little tougher than it sounds....
everyone is having babies and advancing in their careers and sometimes I feel like I am not progressing but just sitting under a stack of things.... The Lord is having to supply me with strength to prioritize and know what is important to deal with and what is petty. I blur those two alot! I have seen alot of pain and loss in people's lives around me lately and it is hard to swallow. Children separated from their families, death by natural causes and some not so natural.... The Lord is the giver and taker of life but sometimes I feel like life can be drained out of you even though you still have breath left. I am sorry if this has sounded dark but troubling times have caused me to question things and just be somewhat somber.... I love the Lord and know that He will guide my family to a healthy place where we can rejoice together as a body of believers!

2008-07-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

Family

2008-07-15T05:51:00.000-07:00

We just got back from Family vacation and it was great! Our family has been divided for months and now we are all back together and getting along splendidly!
I wish i could say it has been easy but it has not.... God is teaching me to love people who test me and that i did not choose to have in my life directly.....
Addison is getting so big and i have never loved anyone or anything so much in my life.... I dont even understand how i will be able to love another child this much!
I am learning to let God fill me with His love in order for me to show others love.... I am alwyas trying to do it on my own and be so strong and it keeps landing me in the failure zone...
Thank the Lord for GRACE!
I realized something last night at a bible study i was at that when i despise something in someone else (and usually get judgemental about it) that it is usually not completely absent in my life ..... I have alot of working on myself to accomplish with the Lord's help. Thank the Lord for family!

2008-04-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

I made it thought two long days at the office.... Addie brought me lunch yesterday and brightened my day with her smiling face! :)
Today we are hanging out all day .... Mommy bible study, shopping, and just playing at the house!
She is such a blessing and I have missed her all day long that i have been away from her...
I have had some sweet friends call and email me to encourage me through the transition....
I loved being able to be the one that got her all ready for the day today b/c dad has done it the past two days so Mommy could get ready and then play with the little baby girl for a minute before Mommy had to go sit in traffic!
Thank you for supporting me and I pray that one day soon I will be at home with her again.....

2008-04-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

well today was my last day as a stay at home mom....
i report for duty at 0730 in the morning...SAD!
we had a great day.... i substituted in the 5 year old sunday school class and had a blast.... after church we went to lunch with some great friends and came home and took a NAP!
Mark had to work from 5-8 so Addie and I worked on getting our house posted and ready to list for sale ....
We also got all of her things together to go to Nay'Nay's house tomorrow while Mommy is at work and Daddy is playing golf....She is going to see G-ma Hill (i think)....
I pray everyone had a great day as we have... The sunshine and weather was amazing and helped keep a smile on my face!

I love Addie's Dad!

2008-04-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let everyone know that Mark is so great with Addison and I love to watch him play and interact with her.... He takes her from me so he can spend more time with her and it touches my heart!! He told her before he left for a Union meeting that if he were going to be here for her bed time that he would do this and that with her.... (things he knew I had not planned on doing that she probably would enjoy if I would have) :)
He is so proud and he is a great DAD!

2008-04-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

I love AMERICAN IDOL!!!!
Addie got her 6 month shots today and she has a runny nose.... so she is really sad! :(
We are close to getting the house ready to be on the market so anyone that wants to buy a contemporary 3 bed 2 bath in Cordova...COME ON!! :)
Mark and I went to play tennis this afternoon and three tennis courts later i lost!
I am having to box up alot of baby stuff that she has already outgrown but I dont want to get rid of it until we are through having babies..... b/c i know i will need it again but it is so bulky to store!
enough of my whining!!!!
What about DAVID COOK??? He is going to win it ALL!!!
My vote still goes to BROOKE b/c i love her personality and simplicity!!! (if you are lost i am making references to American Idol)

On a more serious note I need alot of prayer for my relationship with my mother-in-law..... She is disrespectful and puts me down in front of our children.... I dont understand it but I want to just walk away and never speak to her but I know my husband needs me to have some sort of relationship with her b/c he loves her (despite all of her flaws)....b/c she is his mother.

Advice for all you single ladies..... You might love the man but make sure you check out all the people that come with him (parents, kids, exes, etc.).... I am speaking directly to my two sisters!!!! :)
have a great evening and i pray you all had a blessed day!

God comforts

2008-04-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning discouraged and exhausted emotionally....
God sent several people to me today to encourage me and to lift me up...
Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement....
Thank God for the body of CHRIST!

2008-04-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

Things keep getting darker but hopefully we have hit rock bottom and can go nowhere but up! Brandon has moved to TX for the time being and I pray that he will take this time to reevaluate how he talks and defies the authority. His threatening and volatile attitude and actions have put our family in harms way. God is the only one who can change his heart... Mark is hurting and we need prayer in excess.....
We will go to TX in June and do a reevaluation of where Brandon is at to see if he can have some self control to come back home.....
I pray that God will strengthen mark and break Brandon through this period of separation.
Addie is not able to understand what is going on but she feels the intensity and hears all of the yelling ... it is not healthy and we HAVE TO CREATE A SAFE HOME.... Only God can change this bad situation... Please Lord work in our home beyond what we could imagine or request!

2008-04-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

I am struggling watching my husband hurt over the dishonesty and evil presence in his son right now.... Please pray for God's strength for Mark... Pray for Brandon's heart b/c it is very dark and we dont understand why .... I know God allows valleys so we can cling to Him and watch Him bring glory to Himself through the darkness.... I pray that He will carry our family through some of these struggles.... I am struggling accepting that these things are happening to me but I am praying for peace that He has me right where I am for a reason.... THERE IS POWER IN PRAYER!

2008-04-09T15:17:00.000-07:00

Today a lady in my bible study told us that her 4 year old daughter went to the doc monday with a fever and was diagnosed with Lukemia. Her world turned upside down in two days... i cannot imagine... i have held my daughter close today - Thanking God for her health and her life!
I am reading the 5 love languages of children and I pray that I am able to give Addie all 5 and emphasize in the ones that she will feel most loved by....
We are going to sit outside b/c it is a beautiful day!

2008-04-08T13:06:00.001-07:00

2008-04-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

The warm weather is welcomed! Addie loves being outside....
We had her pictures made today!!!! She is growing up so fast right before my eyes!
Brandon is busy into baseball and I am starting back work part time this month at the hospital.
Addie will be 6 months next week! We are so ready for the CROP, our trip to TX and FL this summer! See you then!

2008-03-12T15:41:00.001-07:00

well my HOTT date got moved up to Monday night and we saw 10,000 B.C. (it was kinds slow until almost the end) and went to eat Sushi!!! Mmmmmm.......
Mark and I both are having sinus trouble but his is worse and he is getting less rest than I am.
Addie and I are almost all packed for AR and cannot wait to see the Arnold girls Friday afternoon.... We have been blessed with a family and I pray that in time everyone of them will come to realize that..... Our prayers are with Jay and Joy and the unborn child that God is giving to them.... His protection is on that child and I know they will be amazing parents once again!
Addie and I went to bible study this morning, then to play at the playground, off to lunch and CheeBurger CheeBurger.... followed by a little shopping at Babies R Us.
I hope everyone is having a great week and I look forward to sharing funny stories from our trip at the top of the week! GOD is GOOD all the time and all the time GOD is GOOD!

2008-03-10T06:58:00.001-07:00

This morning I got up and it was still dark out when it usually is light :( I did some reading and then miss prissy got up. I love watching her play with Mark b/c she just lights up!
I attempted to help someone yesterday and might have made things worse.... I need to learn to mind my own business and be QUIET!
Am I that person who someone would say the way to hell is paved with good intentions??? I hope not ..
Today we are going to finish a Spanish project, clean house, and whip myself back into shape for the SUMMER!
Addie and I cannot wait for it to be warm enough to go to the park and play!
I have a HOTT date Wednesday night at Carraba's!!! I cannot wait !
Then load up the car Thursday and head to the vacation suite in Paron AR Friday morning!

2008-03-08T08:22:00.001-08:00

2008-03-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

It snowed this weekend and it is beautiful..... I love seeing what God can do with a little precipitation. I am trying to read on how to be a good parent and a good wife but it is hard right now because i am discouraged. My family is so disheveled right now that many of my family members do not even know what is going on in my life. i know that God did not design the family unit to always be easy but surely He does not condone removing people from the family unit when you feel wronged or know that they have done something they should not have..... How would any of us stay in the Family of God if that were the method He supported? who are the true leaders of a family? the Men? The women? or the humble ones who care more about being a light in darkness than they do about their own self? Can you cut people off when you are not thinking about yourself but rather thinking of others? is it easier to help a stranger and except their flaws than that of your own family members? Like i said i am confused and discouraged.
God has brought a little ray of sunshine into my day with the beautiful white sheet he has laid outside my window and always my daughter's gorgeous smile!

2008-02-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

This past month has been a blurrr! Brandon started back school, Mark has been working none stop, Addie and I joined a Kindermusik class and a Mom 2 Mom bible study going through the book " 5 love languages of children". Addie had her 4 month shots alst week! OUCH! She is in the 75% of her age group...said another way is that she does not miss any meals!We are trying to get our house ready to be put on the market. PRay for GOd to guide us in selling our house. Apt life awaits us until we get our next hosue built.... SO much to look forward to...... We have been through some family struggles this past week and I am still recouperating..... Lots of counseling and prayer is where we are at right now. It is so hard to make a new family out of two completely different families. Addison is the ray of light that i get to look at anytime i am down and i quickly remember how blessed I am. She was dedicated Sunday and it was a relief to be reminded that God is in control of her life not I but i do play a significant part so I have to live my life selflessly. I am looking for the days were we are striving and not just surviving....

The weather keeps going back and forth so my nose has been running for weeks...yuck!

I have been overwhelmed with the fear of being prego again .... no worries b/c i am not! :) I thank JESUS for letting me be home with my precious angel! Have a great rest of the week!

2008-01-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

i have learned an important lesson this weekend. Dont make important decisions and act on them without consulting with your spouse because he/she could have an incite that you have not even thought about. Always forgive when your forgiveness is requested, and don't go outside the issue when addressing an issue. I am learning how hard it is to be a wife and a parent. I was lied about by two people this weekend and after defending myself I accomplished nothing more than i could have by being quite and letting the truth set me free. My parents are good supports and came bearing dinner to watch the patriots vs the jaguars .... may the patriots never see the superbowl 2008!!!

2008-01-06T21:53:00.000-08:00

2008-01-06T21:48:00.000-08:00

Addison is finally starting to sleep through the night! That
is a change that i am rejoicing over!
It is a new year but some things do not seem to change ....
I hope that I will have the strength to change for the better
regardless of what others may choose.
The three Rs I challenge you with......
Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for your
own actions (and reactions).....
I have to remember that when there is one set of footprints
He has not left me but rather He is carrying me!

2008-01-01T21:26:00.001-08:00

All of the pictures below are a small recap of the past year when we became the Eskew Family! Our Blog will pick up and follow our lives from January 2008 on.... We look foward to sharing a part of our lives with you! Enjoy the recap below!

2008-01-01T20:51:00.001-08:00

2008-01-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2008!

The Eskew family has gone from two bachelors in the beginning of 2007 to a Dad, Mom, son, and daughter. We are so grateful for the blessings a family brings! Here are a few of our memories from the transition of individuals to a family unit! Happy New Year!