I do not know where i stopped blogging but i am going to start with July-August of 2008... Brandon moved home from a 6-8 week sabatical with my in-laws in TX, and things were okay. We went on family vacation and it was actually fun...in my opinion. August we got him enrolled in school and then it all began.....
His grades were AWEFUL from the 2nd week of school. We decided that we would let him fail if that is what it took to teach him that school is not a joke. We withdrew him from the school play b/c he refused to do any homework. A few weeks of minor teenage issues go by and I thought I could handle living with this family dynamic. labor day arrives and he lets loose on me verbally and emotionally(in an abusive manner)...threatening to steal my car, pushing his way into my room, yelling/cursing, got suspended from school for similar unruly behavior at school, etc. My mother-in-law made things worse by threatening me and encouraging Brandon to counter me in every way imaginable. She has said and done more horrific things intintionally that I knew a person could. My parents had to step in and take Brandon b/c I was not safe. Mark returned from the hurricane relief deployment (the longest three weeks of my life) and things calm down for a few days... after Mark had been home for 4 days Brandon is standing in our door yelling at us like we are trash that he walks on. My marriage is strained to say the least.... a week later his grades are worse and he expects his freedom back. Mark addresses the consequences for the grades and Brandon starts throwing things in the garage and hitting our car with objects from the garage. Beating on counters and cursing in front of our daughter. I am at my whits end at this point and beg God to strike him or me or both, but we could not keep living like this. Last week Mark tried to get Brandon to study and he threw the homework at Mark and cursed/yelled at him in from our living room to his room. Last night Brandon and his mother were having a conversation about girls boobs and after he got off the phone i told him it was not appropriate and I wanted the phone. He said NO and it escalated from there... i went to my room waiting for Mark to get home and Brandon would not leave me door and kept beating on the walls and yelling.... Mark sent him to his room and Brandon beat on the walls and door for an hour... he was cussing and yelling while my daughter is playing in the living room. it is uncontrolable and he does not even respond to Mark anymore. He lies constantly and I am so weary that if something did not happen soon I would not have the strength to stay. As Mark watched Addison cry and cling to me listening to the chaos of objects being thrown in Brandon's room he decided to send him away for good. We have a baby and an unborn child that need a safe home and this behavior is not tolerable anymore! I cannot get him to stay out of my closet and going through my personal things..... everytime i go in his room or bathroom I find something not acceptable in this home...from tobacco on many occassions to condoms to pics that are not appropriate to stories that are grafic(written by him) and vile to music that is so sinful, etc.... Tomorrow morning Brandon will be living in TX with Mark's father for the remainder of his highschool career. My marriage is so weak....My daughter is so confused....I am so angry that this has happened....and Mark is hurting.....
Please keep Addison's security, Brandon's heart that needs to find the Lord, Mark's leadership and stability, and my bitterness in your prayers b/c we are all struggling and need Divine Intervention!
I have gotten angry, cried, pretended like I was fine, and wanted to run away through this past two years of marriage but God has shown me how much I need Him. I am weak and I knwo that I can only be a mom and a wife in His strength right now.... The Lord has blessed me with a moms group that is studying how to be a mother lead by Proverbs and it is convicting about my role in this family and how important it is to speak pleasant words in my home. I am trying to learn to be "soft".....
God can use all of this misfortune to help someone and I pray that I do not stand in the way....